Papa’s Got A Brand New Bag!

I miss you, I need you, and I’m scared to death, this “life” thing is a whole lot harder than I thought. Since September I have dropped out of school, walked out on a job, and tried to kill myself but failed miserably, I’ll expound more on that later. I thought I was ready for school, I was excited, or at least I was doing a good job of pretending to be. I was telling everybody of all these grandiose plans I had for myself, how I was going to do, “a,” “b” and “c” and become successful in so many ways, and then….kaput.  All it took was one class for me to quit, and although you didn’t raise a quitter that’s exactly what I’ve become. I remember sitting in class doing my best to absorb everything that was being taught, then going home that night and reading the assigned chapter three times, and not retaining any of it. I did that for the first week; I listened intently and studied hard.  Still, no matter how much I studied, I was still absent from class discussions, not physically, but mentally. My frustration turned to anger, which turned to self-pity, and I did what I do best, tucked my tail between my legs and quit.